Desperate Housewives Gone Bad

Oh...how the suburbs just r.o.c.k.

We've lived here a year, this month. We *love* our house and the historic neighborhood that we live in....as I mentioned in my previous post, it is very woodsy feeling for this part of the world (45 minutes from Manhattan). The abundance and variety of trees and birds is really wonderful. It is like Fantasia each and every morning: bunnies, birds of all shapes and sizes, woochucks, etc. All of that said, we have not really met anyone with the exception of the neighbor directly across the street. She actually seemed quite lovely right off the bat, brought us over cookies with her little daughter, introduced herself, etc.

In my mind, I was tripping over myself to be friendly, chatty, chipper etc. I sent her a thank you note for the cookies, a Xmas card, and have chatted at every appropriate opportunity including unshowered at the grocery store. K has also extended himself and he is not particularly gregarious by nature. He is far more reserved but has often stopped over to chat while out working on the yard.

Beyond this woman who we will call Neighbor #1 (N1 for short), we have not found anyone else to be particularly friendly. Her two sidekicks, also stay at home mom's, are often hanging around in each others yards, etc, but neither will so much as wave hello. I kind of thought they were jerks but really didn't think too much of it. I continued to wave like a lunatic to every person that drove within 2 miles of our house.

Enter Auggie and N2 (Neighbor #2). I met N2 during lunch time walks when she also walks her dog. We both chatted it up immediately, she was friendly and I liked her a lot. I saw her today and one thing leads to another and she informs me that N1 has been very gossipy about her and that we should be careful what we say to her because she has already put out the word that K and I are "not friendly". Huh???? WTF???? One could imagine that N2 was saying out of spite for not being a part of N1's click but she cited 2 incidences that she would not have known if N1 had not been talking about us. The first being that I didn't answer the door on Halloween. She is correct, when I was on the phone with my best friend for 1/2 hour, I did not answer the door. Fucking sue me. The second instance is that we had a bbq and invited her and her hubby and daughter. She said he had to work so we assumed that meant she wasn't interested in coming but said, please come if you feel like it. Well my bad. I didn't follow up with her and invited her AGAIN.

Quite simply, these people suck. They are bored, insecure, snitty wives with no lives outside of their snarky, small town bullshit. Rather than being angry and hurt, I should be compassionate for how lame they are. But I am not quite there yet. I'm still pissed and hurt. We're new here. Our friends are all back in the city. It would have been nice to live somewhere that we feel like we fit in and have a little community.

Oh well. I guess we are just one step closer to finally moving off the grid to the farm in Montana or Colorado to raise our farm of bulldogs. Ha!

Saturday Night

This picture is from a tree in our yard that is at least 200' tall, the morning after last weeks snow storm. Our house is 100 years old and the property is filled with these ENORMOUS old growth trees that are really beautiful. When you look up at our roofline and see the house surrounded, literally, by these gorgeous fir trees, you can honestly feel like you are in the northern woods, in some charming cabin. Sometimes I have to pinch myself.

It's just after 7pm...I am home alone, on the couch watching reruns of Friends! Woohoo! I'm loving it. K is at a bachelor party, complete with 3 strippers (I'm not supposed to know that part--the code of secrecy that surrounds all bachelor parties). Auggie is passed out in his crate, all doped on Benedryl because he has over the course of the last week become allergic to his food. He's been relentlessly pawing at his face and pretty crabby too. And I have made myself a dinner of a sleeve of cookies and an orange. Nice, huh? I am having my own bachelorette evening of sorts and I'm glad too as it is way too cold to go out.

I spent the morning visiting a friend from my days at design school who recently had a baby. It was great to see both of them. This friend of mine is pretty amazing, singer in a successful band, fabulously creative, unbelieveably smart. She and I were always near the top of our class although we were never competitive with each other because our styles are pretty different. But seeing her reminded me of striving for excellence. Being around her always pushed me a little further. She cut no corners--ever and always reached for the highest rung. She was inspiring to me and I miss those days at school eventhough it was only 2 years ago that we were there (2nd career for me, for new readers).

I have another degree from a highly regarded liberal arts university in New York City but I can say, the amount of work and the intensity of the work we did in the Literature program does not hold a candle to what we were put through in design school. My two degrees simply do not compare. Design school was SOOOO much more labor intensive and grueling. We worked around the clock every damn day. I didn't (couldn't really) socialize or have a life through the whole program. No one really did. We worked like maniacs. You would have thought it was med school. I actually really miss it. I think it is the only time in my adult life that I have been completely immersed and passionate about what I was doing. I wouldn't let anything interfere with my performance and I didn't know I could be so dedicated to something like that. And it was the first time that I felt competitive with other people. I have always pushed myself in school but didn't care what others were doing. This was new for me, that feeling of wanting to do better than the people around me. I learned a lot about myself. Anyway, when I win the lottery, I plan to go back to school permanently get a degree in Art History, Fine Art and Architecture and take it from there.

Ok, I'm done blabbering away. I'm off to dig into some girly magazines and possibly paint my toes.

Just When the Ship is About to Sink!

So...there we are. The woman I work for is about to have to declare bankruptcy...and my colleague and I are all excited to collect unemployment and start our own businesses. I don't have much sympathy for Ms. Boss because of the horrendous mismangement of the finances and her ability to live SO far beyond her means it isn't even funny. So work (interior design firm) has been a total nightmare of unpaid bills and pissed off clients when she lands the BIGGEST kahuna of all times-- a young couple that just purchased a $35 million home. And it was featured in a magazine of leading world estates. I don't begrudge her her success, however this precludes my plan of sailing off into the sunset. This will save her ass and her business. I'm incredulous. And no matter what kind of Lexapro high I might be riding, I do NOT want to work on this account. She has already said we will have to go shopping in India with the clients for rugs and furnishings, etc. You know what? I just don't want to. If I decide to go to India it is because K and I have decided to go on vacation or sabbatical or something. Not to go shopping for some self-centered client, eventhough it would probably be first class all the way. I'm too old. Done too much traveling for work. Have woken up in too many hotel rooms confused as to which city I am in. Missed to many important days with family and friends. Nope, that day has come and gone for this homebody.

I guess I will have to jump this ship on my own. Where's the life jacket?

Snow, Blood Marys, & Scrabble

...my idea of a great snowy Sunday.

After a vigorous stint at shoveling our driveway K and I are sprawled on our sofa, in front of the TV, watching more snow fall on our recently cleared drive. Arggh! We've got a good 12-14 inches so far. In these parts, that is pretty significant.

Yesterday started with our weekly trip to the Vet. Auggie's eye checked out just fine and he has gained yet another 5lbs in one week, logging him in at 35lbs....he is destined to be XL it seems. Then we went to a specialty Bulldog show which was pretty interesting. There had to be 50 bullies there...all different markings and body sizes, all very cute. What I took away from this was that Auggie will be a large, mostly square dog, very stocky with a big head and chest. And lazy. Although there is no sign of this yet. He is still very active.

The day concluded with a trip to the grocery store (a chore I dread) along with everyone else in town to get some provisions because our pansy-ass cars are horrible in the snow. And then we went for Mexican food and Margaritas....always a fine choice. Then back to the sofa.

I'm in Love

It has taken a while but I can say I'm officially in love with Auggie. This is simply the cutest dog in existence and it isn't his puppy soft fur, or his adorable jowls, or even his tummy which he loves to have rubbed, it is his charming and affectionate disposition none of which is evident in this picture.

He is the biggest love bug I have ever encountered in a dog. He *loves* every person and animal we meet including cats, dogs, squirrels, doesn't matter. He literally throws himself at feet of everyone we meet, all wiggly waggly, flips onto his back for his tummy rubs.

And he is smart. Not German Shepard smart but more of an inquisitive, sensitive smart. I don't have to do all of those normal doggy training tactics to get him to behave. When he is being naughty, all I have to do is tap him on the back with one finger and say no, while shaking my head no. And that is usually sufficient. He learned to shake paws in two tries. And he knows the word cookie too. Not bad for a little guy who is only 15 weeks old.

The only unfortunate things is that he FREAKS when we take out the camera--hence the look on his face here. We attempted to get a cute shot but we both look less than our best. Oh well. I did edit out my butt cheeks :) to spare us all.

Another Day Foiled

My plans for a dazzling makeover have been put on hold for the moment because our darling, cherubic puppy has developed a case of cherry eye. A cute name for an ugly condition where the tear gland pops out the inside corner of the eye. It looks awful and he is desperately trying to rid himself of it. And the only remedy??? Why surgery of course. General anesthesia, the whole mcgilla.

So let's tally this up. We've had him 7 weeks and he has been to the vet 6 times. Bulldog lovers beware: make sure you have deep pockets before you bring one of these sweet little buggers home. We are starting to track his expenses in Quicken if that gives you any indication.

Three months to live - what would you do?

Just over three months left to live...what would you do?

Here's my list:

1. Quit work immediately!!
2. Spend the first 6 weeks traveling to: Spain, Morocco, Africa, Armenia (me), Denmark (hub), Bhutan and finish it off someplace tropical where I can swim in a warm, calm ocean
3. See as much of family and friends as possible
4. Get up at 5am everyday and go to bed at midnight
5. Rent a home somewhere very rustic and beautiful
6. Spend a little time everyday doing something artistic, painting, drawing etc
7. Finding a wonderful recipe every single day and making something delicious
8. Buy the finest wine and freshest food possible, invite everyone over for dinner every night
9. Sing at the top of my lungs
10. Hear lots of live music, classical, blues, rock....take 'em all in.
11. Not clean a single thing!!

Looking at my list, these are very simple things. And totally doable. Like, I can do most of them right now. I guess this is the point of this exercise, huh?
What would be on your list?